Project was shortlisted in Riga Photomonth 2020      

In the dark forest where the sun is never shining lives demon from Tatar mythology. His long fingers look like tree roots and his face is black as night. Shurale is a trauma. Shurale is a fear. Shurale is my past. All my childhood I had lived in Tatarstan. It is a region in Russia where people follow Islam. My father has always told me that the main thing for women is to get married and the rest doesn’t matter.

   At the age of 22 I got married and last year I divorced. I had been living 11 years married before I got divorced. In order to make a decision, I had to rethink my life and my past. This project is my attempt to reflect on my trauma which I got because of divorce. It is my attempt to understand and accept myself and my identity.

   During psychotherapy sessions, we talk about my injury. The therapist said that I have to bandage constantly my wound to make it healed and to have only the scarm. I’m looking for Shurale in mazes of my consciousness. I’m removing layers by layers, masks by masks. I’m looking at the sun and getting covered by gold to get harmony and to get rid of a scare.

   But in order to get away from Shurale, I have to cross the river at first. But is it possible to resume totally the past?

   In this project, mythology intertwist with reality and contemporary forms with objects from the past. Mazes, knives, scarfs, injuries, and objects from scary fairy tales whilst the body is a battlefield of a struggle for self-identity. Drawing the borderline between myth and reality I try to separate my past from my future but as a result, I return again to old forms or oscillate between two poles.

   All objects were done by me from gypsum and clay.